Here are some original alcohol-themed jokes to lighten the mood:
- What did the bartender ask when William Shakespeare ordered a cocktail?
“To be stirred or not to be stirred?” - A guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm.
“Can I get a drink for me and one for my friend here? We’re hitting the road after this.” - What do you call someone who’s had one too many drinks?
An Uber customer. - A proton walks into a bar and orders a drink.
“Bartender, how much do I owe you?” The proton asks. “For you, no charge.” - I promised myself I’d cut down on drinking…
But I never listen to advice from a guy who’s always drunk. - Numbers and alcohol don’t mix.
Please don’t drink and multiply. - Alcohol doesn’t add pounds.
It just makes you lean… against walls, on bars, and on strangers! - To alcohol – it creates problems and solves them too.
- Homer Simpson
